![]() When he first told his father that he was depressed, he told him to "get over it". "I was failing myself, my family, society, because I couldn't do what every man was supposed to be able to do." He was left with a sense of worthlessness, of letting people down. His OCD would get worse, until he was too anxious to leave the house. It was the first time I realised that I was not living up to the ideal of what a man should be." "I got bullied every single day when I was there, I was the 'little special princess who has to have his special gloves'. Whenever his hands were dirty, he felt nauseous, so he wore gloves all the time. "I was 18, working in a concrete yard, surrounded by big burly men doing manual labour, and I was a stick insect," he recalls. Growing up, he had undiagnosed obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). The uncomfortable truth is that stereotypical forms of masculinity – stiff upper lips, "laddishness" – are killing men.Īnt Meads, a 35-year-old based in Coventry, tried to end his life nearly two years ago. Women are actually more likely to suffer from depression, but more likely to seek help when they encounter trouble. "If you look at how the suicide rates have changed, how they go up and down, you can see that it's cultural – it's about what we expect." And this is what is so troubling about male suicide. Why are so many more men killing themselves than women? "Is it biologically set in stone that men take their own lives – or is it cultural?" Powell asks. In the same way, suicide prevention has to focus on men. "And yet we worry about assault levels, rather than the real killer – suicide." She makes a provocative case: that while breast cancer does kill men, we rightly focus on it as a female disease. "If you're a mum, a dad, a loved one, you want to worry about the biggest threat," she says. Jane Powell is the founder and director of Calm, the Campaign Against Living Miserably, which specifically deals with male suicide. And yet while Britain has high-profile campaigns on, say, testicular cancer or driving safely, the biggest killer of men under 50 is not getting the attention it deserves. Of the 5,981 suicides in 2012, an astonishing 4,590 (76%) were men. It is also predominantly a male disorder. Suicide is the biggest killer of men between 20 and 49, eclipsing road accidents, cancer and coronary heart disease. The aftermath has provoked a long-neglected debate about mental health and suicide.Ī cursory look at the statistics in Britain suggests it is dearly needed. Last week, millions were shocked by the suicide of beloved actor Robin Williams. But for all too many men, there is no rescue. Jake was rescued by his girlfriend and has been confronting his depression ever since. ![]()
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